Monthly Archives: January 2012


I also write under pen names (don’t tell!). One of those pseudonymous titles recently appeared on Smashwords, the one-size-fits-all distributor of ebooks. It’s a mainstream novel about a Catholic priest who undergoes a midlife crisis. No four-X sex. No steamy romance even (though there is some falling in love). Not the sort of story I’d be ashamed to have my mother read.

Imagine my surprise when I went to the Smashwords site and found these two books, also published that day, on either side of my own, harmless title: Ambulance Slut and Spring Break F__k (note how I delete the two middle letters). A quick perusal of the other titles published that day and around that time produced a similar bevy of porno, along with a few books about God.

Why should this not have surprised me?

Answer: Because pornography is always the first and best seller in any media new or old. When Gutenberg got his press working, the first titles were, yes, the Bible but also pornography, because there is never enough of the latter to satisfy the market and because the Bible, especially in the vernacular, had also been out of bounds to the laity. Printers made the rest of their income off indulgence certificates until Luther did his thing and incurred the wrath of the printing industry as a result.

Moral: Don’t be. Or do be, but in a very religious way. Or, maybe, don’t look at distributor websites.

Infinite Space-Time Meets the Monster under My Bed

I invite you to read my essay (click on Essays & Reviews above)  about  the angst I’ve been feeling about my role as a mere dispenser of genetic material, fulfilling the will of a blind and purposeless evolution. Monsieur Pascal apparently had similar trepidations about an immense, largely empty universe (and he didn’t know the half of it, did he).

Not Charity, Not Hope, but…

My latest essay is up at It’s called “Faith,” but it ain’t what you might think… It’s more. At least, I hope it is. Let me know what you think.